Imperfect Picture MarriageSeptember 21, 2020
Normalize imperfection in relationships. Starting with this photo.
Today I put up a simple slide in my stories saying about how tensions rose when we were hanging a mirror. The response was a lot (a lot) of DMs saying “thanks for showing that healthy relationships can still include arguments or tension”.
Y’all, we fight sometimes. Mostly not. Usually when we are building, moving or wallpapering something. Sometimes serious, sometimes because he was mean to me in my dream.
I guess it’s easy to let shame and feelings of failing build in places where we aren’t perfect and I get that. We’ve both been divorced. We both live with that all knowingness of what it can be like when things go sideways. And yet oh, how I yearned for the picture perfect family and picture perfect marriage.
But that’s why we’re the artists. That’s why we paint our own pictures. That’s why tensions get high because we get real, and that includes feelings of frustration, and admitting that.
I am in a pretty peaceful, understanding, supportive partnership which I am grateful for.
But it’s not perfect. I’m not sure I would quite love that either.
There is something about fighting for something. Fighting for each other.
Allowing real feelings because it’s safe to.
Every relationship can look so different. And well, ours is sometimes not-so-cute pics and holes in the wall from 5 screws in the wrong place too many, then sitting side by side on our devices, muttering I love you’s and moving on.
I quite like it. I quite like him.
And I won’t be hanging anything new on the walls for a bit.