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Do you miss it? Life before?⁣

I do. ⁣
I think I discover another thing I miss every day. ⁣

I know we are supposed to always find ways to be grateful and stay positive. ⁣
But for me, this is how I do that. ⁣
By acknowledging. ⁣
Processing. ⁣
Understanding. ⁣

To say: I miss it, life before. And I’m grateful for what we have now, too. ⁣

I think it’s ok to miss it. ⁣
To say it out loud. ⁣
To be selfish with our true feelings. ⁣
Or even just to acknowledge that they’re there, amidst the understanding of how lucky we are, too. ⁣

I miss airplanes. ⁣
I miss the stories I would collect. ⁣
The hugs I would hold with strangers. ⁣
The people I’d see or meet for the first time. ⁣
I miss a really fancy cup of coffee in a new city. ⁣
Or a glass of wine in a girlfriends living room. ⁣
I miss stepping out onto a stage and letting the tears sting my eyes for just a moment as my life gathers a string of memories reminding me of my why. ⁣
I miss that I didn’t chase creativity, it seemed to just follow me everywhere, with new sights, sounds, ideas.⁣
I miss coming home and the feeling of overwhelming completeness when we reunited. ⁣
I miss that coming home often was followed by big family stuff. Where you can barely hear a thought over the sounds of children and laughter. ⁣

I acknowledge the things I miss. ⁣
I honour them, process, understand. ⁣
So that I can be grateful for today. ⁣
Because I love today, too. ⁣
The here and now. ⁣

I love that life is no less chaotic, it’s just in one place, sometimes just from one room to another. ⁣
I love that we’ve come to want to hug each other in our home more, perhaps more need than want. ⁣
I love that I’ve started to look at our home with more intention, paint here, a plan there. ⁣
I’m grateful that my body is safe at home, with pregnancy conditions we never saw coming. ⁣
I love that I know somehow this is shaping me. Even if I can’t see it or understand now. ⁣
I’m grateful that everything has changed but none of the important stuff has, because the heartbeat is strong. ⁣
We have each other, our health, family, friends. ⁣

So yeah. ⁣
I miss life before & I release that. ⁣
So that today, I can carry a grateful heart.
Here. Now.