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I’ve been married, divorced and married again, but that’s just not my love story.⁣

This week the anniversary of my separation from my first marriage came and went, and I forgot about it on the day-of. ⁣
I guess my mind wasn’t trapped in shame or old memories. ⁣
To be honest, I was just too busy in the now.⁣
My new memories.

If this were my love story, upon first glance the book reads like this:⁣
“Woman marries young, and has three children, divorces a decade later, becomes a single mother, and the man of her dreams comes along and they ride off into the sunset”⁣

It’s highly romanticized that way, but misses the part where all the love really happened.⁣
On all the pages IN the book.⁣
And the missing pages that never get written and sit just in her heart.⁣

It’s about fear.⁣
Tenacity.⁣
Shame.⁣
The freedom from shame.⁣
It’s about family.⁣
Sit-in-the-mud with me, grow-my-garden with me friendships.⁣
It’s about pain.⁣
And trust.⁣
A love for oneself that grew from ashes.⁣
It’s about standing on your own two feet, but sometimes letting someone help you carry the bags.⁣
It isn’t about a failed marriage and a successful one.⁣
It’s about the human who flowed through chapters, allowing them to shape her, teach her, hurt her and heal her.⁣

The love story was for her.⁣
Because the love story WAS her.⁣
⁣I love my husband.⁣
But…he does not complete me.⁣
He isn’t my second half either.⁣
For he is my partner. ⁣
Two, whole individuals, partnered together in a relationship.⁣
And yeah, I certainly rely on him a lot.⁣
He is an important part of my life and support system.⁣

I want to say “I don’t know what I’d do without him”⁣
That is more hope than fact. I don’t WANT to do without him.⁣
But I know now, that I can. ⁣

My love story taught me that.⁣

So while we love love, partnered with another.⁣
I love love with our own selves… just a tiny bit more.⁣

We don’t throw parties for it.⁣
Don’t cut cakes for it.⁣
Don’t put on big gowns to celebrate it.⁣
Or wear rings to mark its significance.⁣

Because it’s not on the book covers and sometimes not even on the pages.⁣

Yet it remains to be the greatest of all love stories.⁣
For me, of all time.

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