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Hard truths: I liked being thinner because clothes fit me perfectly. I liked being thinner because men paid me more attention. I liked being thinner because people liked that I was thinner, and congratulated me often for it. ⁣

Everything I liked about being thinner had really nothing to do with my actual body. ⁣
Because I can’t say I ever ended up finding much like for my body after all. ⁣

Everything I liked about being thinner was more about being accepted by others than it was about accepting myself. ⁣

Which reminds me that when thoughts creep in about wanting to be thinner, and the drastic unhealthy measures I know could take to get there, to pause and reflect that really it comes down to a innate desire to be accepted. ⁣

So I’m sitting with that today. ⁣

And I have to thank you, for showing me that while the relationship with myself is the core, that I can and will be accepted by people who will see me for more than my body. ⁣
I will find clothes that serve me, a man that gives me the right attention, congratulations for my healing and my purpose beyond my body. ⁣

Embracing me, an ever-changing, gaining and losing, ebbing and flowing me… has brought about the most genuine of relationships I could ever have.