Hard Truths
May 11, 2020
Hard truths: I liked being thinner because clothes fit me perfectly. I liked being thinner because men paid me more attention. I liked being thinner because people liked that I was thinner, and congratulated me often for it.
Everything I liked about being thinner had really nothing to do with my actual body.
Because I can’t say I ever ended up finding much like for my body after all.
Everything I liked about being thinner was more about being accepted by others than it was about accepting myself.
Which reminds me that when thoughts creep in about wanting to be thinner, and the drastic unhealthy measures I know could take to get there, to pause and reflect that really it comes down to a innate desire to be accepted.
So I’m sitting with that today.
And I have to thank you, for showing me that while the relationship with myself is the core, that I can and will be accepted by people who will see me for more than my body.
I will find clothes that serve me, a man that gives me the right attention, congratulations for my healing and my purpose beyond my body.
Embracing me, an ever-changing, gaining and losing, ebbing and flowing me… has brought about the most genuine of relationships I could ever have.